Working Mom Mindset II. Quality vs. Quantity

When I had a corporate job, I very much focused on the time I spent away from my family, which seemed like a lot. I felt like every time I turned around there was a customer I needed to see that required overnight travel or a POA in Tampa. My first thought would be, here we go again, missing out on my children’s lives. They will only remember their mother being away.

 So, that was a totally irrational thought. I was home way more than I was away, I just naturally beat myself up for leaving my young children. Had I sat down to actually do the math, I would have found that I was only gone maybe several days a month, on average. There are people who travel for pleasure way more than that, but they don’t experience mom guilt, so why did I? I wasn’t partying-I was earning a living.

 Now, that I don’t currently have a corporate job, I am home all the time, and it has been eye opening being on the other side. For starters, I am seeing that it’s not the amount of time I spend with my children that matters, it’s how we spend that time together. I’m not a better parent because I’m home more-it’s more about how I interact, engage and connect with them: quality vs. quantity.

 Why did I think all the stay-at-home moms were running and singing through the floral meadows hand-and-hand with child while I was away working? This isn’t the case. Yes, when you’re at home with your children hopefully you are interacting and engaging, but reality is you’re not doing this for eight hours-you’re busy running a household. You see, there is no difference if you’re at home all day busy with chores, on your phone or running errands. You’re simply just around, not with your children.

 We serve far greater of an impact if we invest quality time with them: 20 minutes a day per child is all it takes (or 10 minutes twice a day), according to Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions.  When we have this one-on-one time with our children, we are telling them they are important, they are priority, and they matter. Your children would much rather this solid uninterrupted time to have you all to themselves versus a full day of complacency.

So, if you struggle with mom guilt leading up to a work trip, then set aside some alone time with your children. Make a point to put your phone and laptop up-be totally in the moment and focused on them. You will get just as much out of it as they will and what’s more? You can get the most out of your work trip because you won’t have the MG weight on your shoulders.

We can have it all by understanding how to balance it all, and we can be a work in progress and perfection at the same time.

xo, Court